How Can You Communicate Better as a Family Caregiver?
Elderly Care Coral Springs FL
Communicating with other family members and elderly loved ones as a family caregiver can seem frustrating. When the elderly care provider comes over, you can share information without any problems, but asking your teenager for help is out of the question, right? Unfortunately, the problem could lie in how you’re trying to communicate, especially if that communication is born of frustration.
Focus on Yourself Rather than the Other Person
When you communicate using something called an “I statement,” you’re putting the emphasis on your own feelings and needs rather than expressing the same information in the form of a commentary on someone else. So instead of starting out by telling a loved one that “You always forget to do what I’ve asked you to do,” try starting out with an “I statement.” One that might work is, “I feel ignored when you forget to do what I’ve asked you to do.” So the next time that your teenager forgets to unload the dishwasher, the exchange might be able to start out differently.
Comment on Behaviors, Not the Individual
Another common problem when caregivers are frustrated is that the statements sometimes come across as a commentary on the faults of the person to whom the caregiver is speaking rather than a complaint about the behavior itself. Using the first example, the emphasis is more on the teenager “always” forgetting something, which is a fault or flaw. By commenting on the action and how it makes you feel, you can communicate without bringing accusations into the mix that can result in hurt feelings for everyone.
Ask Directly for What You Need
As humans we often forget that the other people in our lives can’t read our minds. If your husband walks past the trash can and comments that it’s really full but doesn’t empty it, that can be a situation that causes extreme frustration. Left to fester, you might build the situation up in your mind adding tidbits that aren’t necessarily true, such as, “he saw the trash was full and he doesn’t want to help” or “he doesn’t ever want to do anything.” By being more direct and asking, “Honey, can you empty that for me? I’ve got to finish this task,” you can get the help that you need more directly.
Practice some of these types of exchanges with your elderly loved one and other family members until it feels more natural to you.
