How to Support Aging Parents Who Resist Assistance

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A man tries to reason with his older father as he struggles to know how to support aging parents who need help but refuse to accept it.

These tips will help you know how to support aging parents who need help but refuse to accept it.

It is a challenging predicament many family caregivers encounter: your elderly parents, who once looked after you, now resist the aid they so desperately need to remain safe and comfortable living at home. Family members face a delicate balance between respecting their parents’ freedom and protecting their safety and well-being. When you are in this situation, you’re not alone! We understand the range of emotions associated with accepting the need for help, and have some suggestions that will help you understand how to support aging parents who are resistant to accepting care.

See It From Their Perspective

Understanding the reasons for your parents’ resistance is a good place to start. In many cases, it arises from a wish to retain self-sufficiency and control of their lives. Aging can be a daunting process, marked by physical and cognitive changes that can leave seniors feeling vulnerable. By refusing support, they might be seeking to affirm their autonomy and preserve a feeling of dignity.

However, their refusal can also be fueled by fear or denial. Acknowledging the need for assistance can be intimidating, as it might signify a loss of independence. Additionally, some individuals may simply not understand the extent of their limitations or even the available support options.

Reaching an Agreement About the Need for Care

So, what can be done when faced with this challenging scenario? First, come to the discussion with understanding and empathy. Acknowledge your parents’ feelings and concerns, and assure them that your goal is to support them in maintaining their independence and well being.

Begin by listening actively to their position. Understanding their reasons for resisting care can help you tailor your approach and deal with their specific fears. Reassure them that accepting help does not mean that they are losing control, but rather that they are ensuring they will be able to live at home safely and comfortably.

Compromising is often a great way to reach agreement with your parents. For example, if the idea of having help with baths or showers is off-putting, propose the idea of assistance with housekeeping, meals, and running errands. When they get to know and trust their caregiver with these types of less-intimidating services, it’s easier to work your way up to additional care.

If your parents are still unsure about accepting help, consider enlisting the help of a trusted third party, such as a doctor. In some cases, hearing advice from an objective professional can carry more weight than coming from a member of the family.

Most importantly, keep in mind that change doesn’t happen overnight. It may well require several conversations and gentle persuasion before your parents feel more comfortable about accepting help. Be persistent yet compassionate, and always prioritize their feelings and wishes.

At Responsive Home Care, we have helped many older adults live fuller and more enriching lives at home, and we are here to help your parents whenever they are ready, with tailored in-home care solutions in Fort Lauderdale, Deerfield Beach, Plantation, and the neighboring communities. We offer a complimentary in-home consultation to help you and your parents talk through the services that will best meet their needs. Reach out to us any time at 954-486-6440.

Once My Caregiver Responsibilities Are Over, Who Am I?

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A woman contemplates who she is without her caregiver responsibilities.

Do you know who you are without your caregiving responsibilities?

Caring for a family member is often an all-consuming role. It takes a great deal of your time, focus, and energy that when your family caregiving role ends, for any reason, it can leave you feeling lost. Other common feelings to expect if you’re no longer serving as caregiver for a loved one include:

  • Exhaustion
  • Confusion
  • Hopelessness
  • Relief
  • Grief
  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • And so many more

Finding Yourself After Caregiving

You will want to allow yourself some transitional time to rediscover what it’s like to live a life that does not include putting someone else’s needs first. Devote some time for reflection on your caregiving experience. What did you learn? How did it change you?

It is also common to feel some degree of guilt when your caregiving role ends. You may feel as if there were things you should have done differently or might have done better. The “what ifs” are quite common, and it can be easy to get caught up in feelings of regret.

It’s important to forgive yourself and alter your internal dialogue to concentrate on the many positive ways you impacted your family member while providing care. Accept any mistakes, real or perceived, by understanding that you are human and that you did your best. Extend the same grace to yourself that you would extend to another person.

Once you’ve processed the complex emotions surrounding this transitional time, think through the following:

  • What activities, hobbies, and passions do you want to pursue?
  • What relationships have had to take a back seat while you were providing care? What steps can you take to rebuild them?
  • Are there volunteer opportunities that interest you?
  • How would you like to structure your days now that you have extra time available?

It is best to establish small goals that are easily reached, as opposed to biting off more than you might be able to chew. For example, you might decide to reach out to one trusted friend to see if they would want to meet for a regular coffee or lunch date. Take plenty of time for self-care to nurture both your body and mind, and gradually add on more activities as you feel prepared to take them on.

Talk to Responsive Home Care

If you learn that you miss providing care for others, we would love to talk to you about an opportunity to make use of your skills and compassion to brighten life for another person in need of assistance. Your experience as a family caregiver makes you a great fit for a professional caregiving role, and we will equip you with full training and all the support you need to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Contact us at (954) 486-6440 to find out more.

Dressed for Success: The Best Senior Adaptive Clothing

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An older man wearing the best senior adaptive clothing smiles at his reflection in the mirror.

The best senior adaptive clothing improves safety and comfort while empowering older adults to remain self-sufficient.

What were your thoughts when choosing the outfit you put on this morning? Style? Comfort? A particular memory attached to a piece of clothing? The clothes we wear are a fundamental part of our identity, and the simple act of choosing what to wear and being able to put it on is essential to our independence. When the effects of growing older or a health condition like arthritis make it challenging to self-dress, knowing how to choose the best senior adaptive clothing is an excellent way to maintain self-sufficiency.

What Is the Best Senior Adaptive Clothing to Choose?

There are several key features to consider in adaptive clothing, including:

How it fastens: Zippers and buttons are harder to manage than Velcro, snaps, or magnets.

How it’s put on: Raising the arms and pulling a snug sweater over the head is a lot more difficult than slipping on a cardigan. For a person in a wheelchair or with other mobility issues, clothing that opens in the back or on the side is an even better choice.

How restrictive it is: Clothing with adjustable straps or an elastic waistband is less restrictive and also works well for someone with fluctuating weight or issues with swelling.

How it aids in preventing falls: Do not forget about footwear! Adaptive shoes are usually slip-resistant and will accommodate swelling or a brace.

How easy it is to wash: Choose machine wash/tumble dry clothing made from fabric that resists wrinkles and will be most convenient and comfortable.

Will It Fit?

Purchasing items that fit well and are comfortable isn’t always easy, especially if you are ordering clothing online. Here’s how to achieve the very best results:

Measure first. Get an accurate measurement of the person’s waist, hips, inseam, and for women, bust.

Check the charts. Many online adaptive clothing sites will provide size charts. In addition to the person’s body measurements, pay attention to whether the garments will have a slim or relaxed fit.

Try it on. Whenever possible, the most reliable way to ensure a good fit is by trying the items on and having the person move about to check for mobility, flexibility, and comfort. If a piece of clothing misses the mark in any of these areas, return it or talk to a seamstress or tailor about altering it.

Keep in mind too that while adaptive clothing’s purpose is to make getting dressed safer and easier, that does not mean you have to settle for frumpy frocks! Sit down together and look at patterns, colors, and styles online so the individual can select the items they like best.

Contact Responsive Home Care for further help with your adaptive clothing needs. We’re here to offer tried and true tips, take older adults shopping, provide support with getting dressed, and much more. Serving Fort Lauderdale, Deerfield Beach, Lighthouse Point, and nearby areas, you can reach us any time at (954) 486-6440 to find out more.

Why Providing Care for Your Spouse Can Cause Resentment – And How to Overcome It

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A woman who knows that providing care for your spouse can cause resentment hugs her husband as they both look out the window.

Providing care for your spouse can open up a new realm of emotions you may not have expected.

You both promised to look after each other through better or worse, in sickness and in health. When these cherished sentiments are first spoken on your wedding day, it is difficult to imagine how it will feel to actually live them out when providing care for your spouse. It may come as a shock to you that anger, frustration, and resentment can go hand-in-hand with fulfilling your vows when caregiving for your spouse.

How Can I Resent Caring for the Person I Love the Most?

In a nutshell, providing care for your spouse is overwhelming, both physically and emotionally. You may feel:

  • Unappreciated and taken for granted
  • Concerned about your spouse’s prognosis
  • Frustrated from insufficient time for self-care
  • Stretched too thin
  • Angry or irritated for inexplicable reasons

All of these feelings are valid and completely normal, even if unexpected – and there are things you can do to overcome them while strengthening your relationship with your spouse.

How to Conquer Spousal Caregiving Resentment

Set and maintain boundaries. Remind yourself that you are human, and you cannot (and shouldn’t attempt to) do it all. Setting an unattainable bar for yourself as a caregiver will quickly result in depression, burnout, and a reduced quality of care for your spouse. Identify realistic expectations that are in line with your strengths and abilities, and bring in help for the rest.

Face your emotions. You might be trying to cover up how you feel to keep the peace, but it’s important to find a safe space to vent. Caregiving is stressful on many levels, and identifying a strong network of support is a must. Speak regularly with a trusted friend or family member, counselor, or spiritual guide.

Explore couples therapy. A professional marriage counselor can be helpful to both of you individually and as a couple. You will gain the tools you need to resolve disputes in a healthy way, to better understand each other’s perspective, to better manage feelings of resentment, and to improve communication. The therapist can also provide you with referrals to other helpful resources as appropriate.

Take care of YOU. If you think of self-care as selfish, think again. Taking care of yourself empowers you to take better care of your spouse. Carve out and prioritize time for pastimes you enjoy, socializing with friends and other family members, and stress-relieving activities: exercise, reading, journaling, listening to music, being outdoors.

Responsive Home Care is here to serve as your partner in care to help you restore a healthier life balance and to rediscover the joy of spending quality time with your spouse. Contact us at (954) 486-6440 to ask about our respite care services and to request a free in-home consultation to learn more about the many ways we can help. Our services are available in Fort Lauderdale, Lighthouse Point, Hollywood, and the surrounding areas.

How to Talk to Older Loved Ones About Aging Care

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Adult son and elderly father sit on a couch having a conversation.

These tips can help you talk to older loved ones about aging care in a calm and respectful way.

Maybe you remember having “the talk” with your parents about those cringeworthy pre-teen topics. If you thought that was uncomfortable, brace yourself for having to talk to older loved ones about aging care issues and concerns you are noticing at home! This is often very difficult, for several reasons:

  • Your parents may resent what appears to be a reversal of roles or being told what to do
  • They could be in denial that there’s a problem at all
  • They could feel threatened and fearful of losing independence and the freedom to make their own choices

How can you overcome these very valid feelings to come to a place of acceptance about home care services? Try these tips as a starting point to talk to older loved ones about aging care:

  • Plan the conversation: what you will discuss, who will attend, where you can best talk without distractions.
  • Think through what it would be like to be in your parents’ shoes and exactly how you would want the conversation to go.
  • Resolve to remain calm and respectful through the entire discussion, never attempting to parent your parents.
  • Listen to your parents’ worries with an open mind and without preplanned responses.
  • Realize there may be more than one solution – and, that it often takes more than one conversation to achieve agreement.

Before approaching your parents, practice what you want to say with someone you trust to give you straightforward feedback. Role-playing is a good strategy to refine your presentation and words and to help you gain confidence.

When you are ready to talk with your parents, be prepared for any outcome. In a perfect world, they will agree with your concerns and be open to having the support of a home care professional. It’s certainly possible that they share your concerns, but were unsure how to broach the subject with you. But likewise, be prepared for resistance, defensiveness, and possibly even anger.

In the event that the discussion is producing heightened emotions and you are reaching an impasse, shelve the conversation and try again later. It may be beneficial to include someone your parents trust and respect in a subsequent conversation, such as a close friend or medical professional.

When you are ready to explore home care options for your parents, contact Responsive Home Care. We can start out with minimal support, such as meals, transportation accompaniment, or light housekeeping, and slowly work up to more care once your parents feel comfortable with their caregiver.

We understand how difficult it can be for someone to acknowledge the need for assistance at home. Our goal is always to cultivate an environment of independence in which each individual in our care remains as much in control of all of life’s decisions as possible. You can connect with us 24/7 at (954) 486-6440 for more information about our highly personalized home care services in Hollywood, Plantation, Lighthouse Point, and the surrounding areas.

Keeping a Sense of Purpose for Seniors Leads to a More Fulfilling Life

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Learn the importance of maintaining a sense of purpose for seniors.

What motivates you to push forward every day? If you are part of the sandwich generation, taking care of both older and younger loved ones, your list is probably quite long! However, for aging adults, as the nest empties, it becomes important to redefine their identity and learn new ways to bring meaning to each day. Read more

Starting Home Care: What to do When Family Is in Denial

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When a family member refuses the need for parents starting home care, we have tips to help.

Once you realize that an aging loved one could benefit from starting home care services, it’s not uncommon for the aging loved one to be resistant to the idea. After all, acknowledging the need for assistance is not easy, especially for an individual who values their privacy and independence. However, it gets more challenging when another family member is the one in denial about starting home care. When you’ve reached an impasse within your family in regards to the need for senior care, there’s one very likely culprit to consider: denial. Read more

Make Life Easier With a Daily Routine for Seniors With Dementia

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senior-lady-dementia-eating

A daily routine for seniors with dementia can make life easier!

Do you ever feel lost or disoriented after waking up from a dream? The dream seemed so real, and it takes a few minutes to regain your bearings. For someone with dementia, this confusion is part of everyday life. Our goal in providing care for someone with Alzheimer’s is to help provide as much stability as possible, and one of the simplest ways to achieve this is by building a daily routine for seniors with dementia.

How Can a Daily Routine for Seniors With Dementia or Alzheimer’s Help?

Short-term memory loss makes it challenging for someone with dementia to learn and remember new things. A familiar routine helps build self-confidence, reinforce a sense of independence, and minimize anxiety.

To establish the most comfortable routine for a senior loved one with dementia, try the following:

  • Make it meaningful. Include time every day for responsibilities that increase the person’s self-worth and sense of purpose, according to their abilities: folding laundry, sorting papers, mixing a salad, etc.
  • Choose activities that relate to lifelong interests. Consider the person’s particular interests and incorporate those in some manner into their routine: music, gardening, fishing, knitting, etc.
  • Follow their lead. Retain any routines the older adult already has established: a morning shower before breakfast, meals at the same seat at the table as always, an afternoon television program, a walk after dinner, etc.
  • Adjust as needed. Over time, as the disease progresses, the person’s ability level will change, making it harder to accomplish parts of their routine. The goal should be to always make an effort to provide as many opportunities for independence as possible, even if modifications are needed.

Obviously, life doesn’t always make it easy to follow a daily routine. Even family caregivers require time away for at least a few hours a week. It can be helpful for the person in your care to have a respite caregiver step in before you take time away, incorporating them into their regular routine . That will likely make it easier for you to step away, knowing the senior is already familiar and comfortable with their professional caregiver.

The best care experience for seniors with dementia requires specialized training and expertise. Our dementia caregivers are experts in providing creative, patient care and easing the difficult symptoms of the disease, and we are here with just as much or little assistance as you need. Contact us any time online or at (954) 486-6440 for a complimentary in-home consultation for additional information about our Alzheimer’s care in Fort Lauderdale and the nearby areas.

Fighting Ableism When Dealing With Disabilities in Seniors

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happy-senior-lady-with-grandchildren-and-daughter-3-generations

Learn more about ableism and how it relates to disabilities in seniors.

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you see someone in a wheelchair? Do you assume that the person is less-than or in need of being fixed? Do you presume they need special treatment, as though a physical disability impacts intellect as well? How does your thinking shift to see someone standing upright, without the need for a wheelchair; would you think they were better-abled than the wheelchair-bound senior?

These are difficult questions that require honest answers if we are to understand fighting ableism and to respectfully interact with those who are differently abled.

What Exactly Is Ableism?

Ableism is identified as “the discrimination of and social prejudice against people with disabilities based on the belief that typical abilities are superior.” It contributes to harmful misconceptions and stereotypes, which makes fighting ableism vital for seniors with disabilities.

The Two Sides to the Disability Coin

People who have visible disabilities experience ableism in a variety of forms: being spoken down to or asked intrusive questions, exclusion from places that are inaccessible, being forced to wait to use an accessible restroom stall while in use by an individual who could be using a standard stall, etc. On the other hand, there are many disabilities which are not as easily noticeable (such as hearing impairment, Alzheimer’s disease, or a heart condition), accounting for up to 80% of the disabled population. These individuals may have their concerns minimized and need to fight harder to receive any accommodations needed.

No matter whether a disability is hidden or apparent, there are steps we can all take in fighting ableism and promoting equality and inclusion:

  • Never speak over or around the individual, addressing a caregiver first. Speak directly to the individual, and if help with conversing is necessary, the caregiver can then step in. Don’t forget that the person is an adult, and should always be spoken to as such.
  • Treat everyone in the manner in which you would want to be treated. Look them in the eye. Say hello. Engage them in a conversation if they welcome the social interaction.
  • Avoid trying to think for the person or impose your help. Offer assistance in an open-ended manner if it seems warranted, giving them the option to let you know if they would like your help or not.

At Responsive Home Care, we are dedicated to treating each individual we serve with respect and dignity. We can help someone you love with a complete selection of individualized in-home care services which can include:

  • Help with walking and transfers
  • Planning and preparing healthy meals and providing assistance with feeding when needed
  • Accompaniment to appointments
  • Companionship to brighten each day through conversations, activities, games, arts and crafts, exercise, and more
  • Discreet personal care support, for safe baths/showers, restroom use, getting dressed, etc.
  • Specialized care for chronic health needs, such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease
  • And so much more

If you need help from Responsive Home Care, the top provider of home care services, including dementia care in Fort Lauderdale and the nearby areas, contact us online or at (954) 486-6440 to find out more and to request a free in-home consultation.

What to Do When a Senior Does Not Want to Eat

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Home caretaker – man helping senior man

Learn what to do when a senior does not want to eat at mealtime.

Following the holiday feasts, many people choose to reduce their calorie intake. But when a senior loved one refuses to eat altogether or is making unbalanced or unhealthy dietary choices, it is important to look for the cause associated with this behavior and to recognize how to encourage them to get on track with healthier eating.

Why Do Senior Eating Habits Change?

There could be many factors at play when a senior does not want to eat or when they begin to make poor dietary choices – as well as many ways you can help overcome them:

  • Issues with dental health. Speak with the dentist to determine if dentures should be refitted or if there are any other dental concerns that need to be addressed. You may want to provide foods which are softer and/or cut them into smaller pieces. Lentils, ground meat, and beans, for example, are easier to chew than a steak or pork chop.
  • Low vision. If the senior is unable to see clearly, they may regard foods differently and lose interest in eating. Vision problems can also make it more difficult and even dangerous to prepare meals as well as get out to pick up groceries. Offer to help with shopping and meal prep (or let us help!) and serve foods that are brightly colored and contrasted to the colors of serving dishes, place mats, the tablecloth, etc. so they’re more easily seen.
  • Side effects from medications. Schedule an appointment with the physician for a complete review of all medications being taken, and find out if one or more could be leading to a loss of appetite or troubling gastrointestinal side effects. See if the medication can be changed to something more tolerable or if perhaps the dosage can be changed.
  • Loneliness. This is a standard problem among older adults, and can make mealtime less enjoyable. Share meals whenever possible with a lonely senior loved one, invite friends and neighbors to join them, or contact Responsive Home Care for a caregiving companion to assist.
  • Loss of taste or smell. Aging as a whole often results in a dulling of these senses, which may affect the satisfaction of eating. Try experimenting with more aromatic and flavorful spices and herbs while preparing meals, such as ginger, garlic, and thyme.

Responsive Home Care is here for older adults struggling to keep up a healthy diet, for whatever reason. When a senior does not want to eat at their regular mealtimes, we can partner with you to help provide senior loved ones with every chance to once again enjoy meals and establish improved eating habits. Contact us online or at (954) 486-6440 to discover how we can help with our services for elder care in Hollywood, FL and the nearby areas.

Health Concerns That Can Cause Negative Mood Changes in a Senior

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Everyone goes through good days and bad days, and everyone is entitled to negative thinking or irritability every now and then. If you are caring for an older adult who appears to have fallen into a routine of continual negativity and complaining, there could be a reason for it. It’s worthwhile to explore whether or not a health issue may be the culprit for negative mood changes in a senior.

The following are several possibilities for chronic negative mood changes in a senior and how you can help.

  1. Urinary tract infections. A UTI’s classic signs and symptoms of pain, burning, and urgency to urinate may include additional side effects for seniors, including angry outbursts, irritability, confusion, as well as other alterations in behavior or mood. Speak with the physician to rule out a urinary tract infection if you observe these types of uncharacteristic behaviors.
  2. Pain. A recent research study discovered that participants who are experiencing chronic pain reported an increase in negative moods, including fatigue, anger, tension, depression, anxiety, and more. It’s worthwhile to share any of these mood changes with the physician, as these kinds of mood changes actually impact the effectiveness of pain management treatments.
  3. Dementia. Mood and personality changes are typical in dementia. It is crucial to understand that these changes are a symptom of the physiological changes in the brain, and are not a representation of the person’s own choices and decisions. There are medicinal and natural treatment choices that can help the person feel calmer and less agitated that you may desire to explore.
  4. Medication side effects. A number of medications – including those designed to help with mood, such as antidepressants – may cause troublesome mood swings. Medications for blood pressure, inflammation, and seizures may cause personality and behavioral changes in some people. Again, talk with the physician and go through the senior’s prescriptions to determine if the problem stems from one medication, or possibly the interaction of multiple meds together.

Negative mood changes in a senior can arise from loneliness or boredom, too. No matter the reason, constant negativity can be taxing for a caregiver’s personal sense of wellbeing. It is important to be able to step away from your caregiving role on a regular basis, and to make this time away a top priority. The senior will also benefit from the chance to spend time with different friends, family members, or a professional caregiver. These breaks are a healthy part of your caregiver/care receiver relationship – for both of you.

Responsive Home Care’s caregivers are wonderful companions to help brighten the mood of the older adults we serve. All of our care staff are fully trained, background checked, and experienced in a wide range of in-home care services for seniors. If you’re looking for an award-winning home care company in Ft. Lauderdale, FL or the nearby areas, contact us online or at (954) 486-6440 to learn how we can help someone you love, while allowing you the time you need to rest and rejuvenate.

Simple, Effective Strategies You Can Try Today to Improve Memory

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Help seniors improve memory with these simple strategies.

Do you recall learning the order of colors of the rainbow as a child? A lot of us were introduced to Roy G. Biv to master this feat – one of many mnemonics we learn that, interestingly, often stay with us for a lifetime.

As we age, it’s expected to experience some level of memory impairment; and naturally, it’s even more pronounced when Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia is a factor. Scientists are constantly aiming to locate effective ways to improve memory and cognitive functioning, and have observed some interesting findings on “old school” strategies such as mnemonics. Here’s what they have recently discovered:

Mnemonics

Mnemonics produces a link to a memory through a phrase, abbreviation, song, etc. This training yielded great results in increasing activity in areas of the brain that are affected by dementia, leading to improved retention of information.

There are a multitude of mnemonic strategies that are very effective in improving memory. For example, try mnemonic keywords. Mnemonic keywords are fun and creative ways to memorize words in another language. It involves selecting a word that’s much like the new word you want to learn, and visualizing an image that brings the two words together. For instance, if you’re wanting to remember that chapeau is French for the term “hat,” you might picture Charlie Chaplin along with his famous black hat. The “Chap” element of his name can trigger the initial letters in chapeau, and the memory will stick.

Spaced Retrieval Training

This strategy involves gradually increasing the amount of time between memory tests, and was shown to also be highly effective for those with dementia. Compared to mnemonics, however, there was actually a decrease in brain activity, which led medical researchers to determine that the information had been processed more efficiently.

This training method is very effective in increasing independence and minimizing anxiety for those with cognitive challenges. Choose a desired event or activity for the person to keep in mind, such as a lunch date with a buddy on Friday. Start by asking the person a question to establish whether or not the memory is already in place. If not, remind them they are having lunch with John on Friday. Wait 15 seconds, and ask the individual the question again. If the memory is in place now, increase the time to 30 seconds, and ask again, continuing to double the time and ask again. If the person does not remember after 15 seconds, keep repeating the process every 15 seconds several more times before determining that it is not an effective technique, at least not for this particular event or activity.

Both strategies are simple, drug-free approaches to incorporate into the treatment for someone during the early stages of Alzheimer’s, or even for anyone who is looking for approaches to improve memory.

Let Responsive Home Care provide additional resources and support for someone you love with dementia. Our creative approaches to help improve memory make the most of an older adult’s cognitive functioning, independence, and wellbeing. Contact us online or call (954) 486-6440 for more information about our home care assistance in Fort Lauderdale and the nearby areas.